Research from psychotherapist M. Gary Neuman suggests that, on average, happily married women have sex 11 times per month. That’s almost three times a week. And his research says that it is all about the quantity versus the quality.
I consider myself happily married but Hubs and I tend to go in spurts with our sexual activity. Sometimes we have sex a few times a week. Sometimes we have none. Go on vacation and we have enough to take care of the whole month.
(Check out MiddleSexy’s tips for getting in the mood.)
Eleven times a month seems like a lot to me, especially as working parents. Your schedule, his schedule, the kids’ schedules, housework, sleeping. The to-do list is long. And making time to be physically intimate is frequently at the bottom of this list. I’m not saying that it should be but the reality is, that well, it is.
But when we haven’t had sex for a while, I do find myself craving the endorphin release of an orgasm. And if he’s not around, I’ll opt for good old-fashioned masturbation. And I know that he does the same because we’ve talked about it.
What happily married people have in common is a strong sense of intimacy, both emotional and physical. In an ideal world, we’d have a lot of both. But sometimes, at certain phases in your life, the two types are not balanced. What’s important is that you are intimate with each other in some form because that is what makes your relationship different from your relationship with others.
So MiddleSexy readers, does the quantity of sex you have dictate the happiness of your marriage?