Spanx You Very Much


So smooth. You would never know the danger that lurks underneath.

Now that I’ve put my shiny holiday dresses back in the closet, I can also push my couple of pairs of Spanx and other shapewear to the back of my underwear drawer.

I got some good use out of those constricting devices in the last month. I wore them with my wrap dress in Las Vegas. With that new dress I wore to a wedding in New York. And even with a little H&M number I got on sale for $19.99.

In a perfect world, I wouldn’t ever need to wear an undergarment that makes my back and my abdominal pooch be better friends. But life is imperfect. And so is my 49 year-old body. Two C-sections and a little extra weight being carried around. Spinning and running help but I’m just lumpier than I used to be.

In my day-to-day clothing, like jeans and shorts, I look and feel just fine. But sometimes, I need a little help getting my clothes to be smooth in my middle section. And shapewear does the trick for me.

(I especially like the thong ones. There’s nothing wrong with my ass.)

Here are five things I love about my multiple pairs of shapewear:

1. My shapewear doesn’t change the way my body looks, not like wearing a corset or something. It’s me, just smoother without an abdominal pooch or a muffin top. They make me look better in my tighter fitting clothes.

2. Shapewear makes me taller. Really. It works like this: Wearing shapewear makes me tighten my core by reminding me to suck in my gut. And stand up straighter. So I look taller than my usual 5’ 2.5”.

3. Wearing a pair of Spanx in my clingy special occasion clothes makes me feel more physically confident. I’m not worrying about that roll that sometimes gets it’s way with my belly button. And confidence is sexy.

4. But not too sexy. When I take my clothes off, and have my shapewear on, I look like a mannequin with a missing vagina. So if I’m not in the mood, the shapewear is almost as good as a chastity belt. There’s no way my husband can peel them off of me. Nor would he want to. (If I want to get lucky, I take them off in private.)

5. It is much less expensive, and less painful, to wear shapewear than it is to get a liposuction and a tummy tuck.

Do you wear shapewear?

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2 thoughts on “Spanx You Very Much

  1. Very pretty picture. I have shapewear I use in the summer with a couple of form-fitting skirts. Good point about improving posture. I’m less than five feet tall, so I could use the help with standing up straight!

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